S-06-16-07

Went to the DL today. Got my arm hooked up with no problem. Ch is the nurse and I tell him that I could easily use the hole from T to start a real good buttonhole. He says "unfortunately we don't do buttonholes here". *huh?* "Well, yes we are going to do buttonholes here, as a matter of fact, the "buttonhole" lady was here Thurs." He claims he didn't know since he was off for 2 weeks. I say, well they (everybody else) has been knowing since March or April about me starting buttonholes. This upsets me on so many levels because I feel like the people who are taking care of me should know something that I am starting buttonholes.

Anywhoo, I guess he got mad and decided that I wanted for him to stick me in the same hole from Thurs. since I mentioned buttonholes. Now this upsets me too because if he had even read just one article about buttonholes, he would know that you must remove the scabs before you insert the needles. He didn't do that. The biggest problem with this is that I didn't realize that he had stuck the same hole until I got home after my treatment. I was so hurt. To think that I am trusting my life to people who really don't have a clue about simple infection control procedures really bothers me.

Now, when I go in on Monday I am going to have to make sure that the person who sticks me understands that they should not stick me in the same place without removing the scabs.

Anyway, I don't like having to "fight" like this. I feel like these people could just get on the computer one or two times and learn just as much about buttonholes as I have. I guess all that I can do now is be thankful for the handful of people who are taking the time to read information and learn about the new procedures that are available to DL patients.

Things like this get me really upset me and that is not good for me. My longevity will depend on me being able to handle things like this that come my way.

I was thinking about something today. Kidney failure happened to me. I did not ask to have to go to a clinic every other day for the rest of my life. But I have to. So, when I am not happy about having to go there is nothing wrong with that. It is not a character flaw. It is probaly a realist response to something so terrible. I mean most people with kidney failure have had years to prepare for this. I did not. One day I go to the DR. and the next day I am hooked up to a machine. Not every 38 year old girls dream. But considering what happened to me, I think I am doing pretty good.

So, I'll keep advocating for me. I'll keep advocating for my kids and my husband. They need me, I need me. I need to stay here and I need to stay healthy. Go on and cry. It will make you stronger.