Thrs- Went to tx and put myself on. Well, I cannulated myself. First the arterial. That buttonhole is coming along well. I don't like the angle I went in though. I know that it was a different angle than I used Tues. For some reason I felt nervous. I guess it was because I am still at the mercy of someone else and I just quite frankly don't like it. I had to wait on A to finish sticking another patient. I waited an additional 30 minutes for that. I didn't mind waiting the 30 minutes but what I got for my time wasn't worth it.

Let me say that I don't want these people to do anything but teach me how to get myself on the machine. I only want them to teach me because the sooner, I learn this, the sooner I can come home and start my treatment. That is all that I want from them. My thinking is that if we will go ahead and take the extra time now to get me trained, then the sooner this will be over soon. So, what I call myself doing is trying to get in as much at each session as I can. I feel that if they take 6 sessions and really teach me everything that I need to know, t hat would be better than teaching me a little bit over twenty sessions. But I don't think anybody else sees it that way.

Anywhoo, I also started my venous buttonhole on Thrs. too. I like the placement of it also. It's sore today. It also has a little "heparin" bruise on it.

I didn't learn anything about taking myself down on Thrs. The girls just came over there and started unclamping everything so I didn't learn anything about the order you would do anything in. I was upset about that because I was willing to wait on my "trainer", but he told her to go ahead and "teach me". That didn't happen, but this is only temporary. That is why I am trying so hard to learn as much as I can as soon as I can. I don't like being at everybody else's mercy.

Tomorrow, my plan is to get there early prob about 0615 so I can get off the machine earlier. I am going to take my time and forget about everybody else. I am just going to concentrate on making sure that I get the angle right.