Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Well, another bad day on dialysis today. I didn't get started on the machine until about 1030 or 1100 today. Long story. But once I got started I was ok. I even started talking to God about believing in myself and knowing that I can do this while I was sticking myself. Another thing Idid was to stick myself the way I did when I began setting the tunnels. To my amazement, I realize that I am not having as much pain when I am on the machine. Anyway, once I get all done, and I am ready to flush the prime out, I get an alarm 11. I try pullling air out of the top port, No luck, call Nxstage, NO luck. Start over.

The good thing is that you don't have to do anything with the bags. You can just leave them hanging there. But the cartridge must be reprimed. Another 20-30 mins.

I can do this. I can do this because I just went to the center yesterday and I know that I dont' ever want to go back there again and that whatever I have to do at home is nothing compared with going back there.

So, I take the cartridge out and start over. And here I sit 3 hours later, with 1 hour still to go . Gotta love it.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

I figured out something today....getting up early and trying to finish dialyzing before going somewhere is not working. What I mean is that waking up at 1 or 2 in the morning is ok as long as I dont' have anything to do when I finish dialyzing. But if I have to drop D off or if I have to go to a Dr.'s appointment, I can't do the dialysis thing early in the morning. For one thing, I am too tired. For the second thing, it's not working. The two or three times that I have done this, nothing else has gotten done. The first day, D didn't make it to school. The second day, I didnt' make it to the dealership to have my car looked at. The third day, I didn't make it to see the Dr.

Other than that, not much else to say about dialysis.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

I do this because....I do this for a number of reasons. The biggest reason is that I hope that it would afford me a longer life (doing more dialysis). It's a big undertaking, but I don't mind. dI am going to have to stop saying that too. It seems like I am saying so much because I want a reason to start hating it. But that would be very stupid because for the rest of my or at least until something better comes along I will have to do this.

But for right now, I don't mind this at all. What I really like is that I can really lay down. I mean lay down flat. That is important.

Erich made me think today. He posed the question about how we feel about having to start dialysis. It doesn't bother me. Maybe I haven't been in it long enough. But right now I have no qualms. Period. And to tell the truth I don't think I will. This shit is easy peasy to me. You can do what you want when you want. For me I just choose to try to keep the same schedule because of my OCD, but really I don't have to. I also can stay out as long as I want and then come in and strap up and go to sleep. It doesn't matter what time I get on and it doesn't matter what time I get off. It's all up to me. I decide. Like Monday morning I am going to get up when Dh gets up at (no I"m not, I don't have any money) NO, I can because this should be covered. It's doing the same thing it was doing before the tranny was overhauled. I'm going to do my tx at 2'00 in the am and be through with it. To tell the

To tell the truth thats how I should do it every MOnday instead of waiting until I get back with DS. It won't throw my schedule off either because I'm off on Sunday and the tx won't be too close together. I can just get up when DH does and come down here and sleep. And then when I get through at 0600, I am completely through for the day. I like that idea.

See, that's the good thing about having Nxstage here at home. I can choose how I want to do it. I can choose when I want to do it. I am free to choose. Not too many people in this life get to choose how and when they want to do their medical txs. I do.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

What's up? Me not much. Just sitting here dialyzing. Today is the first day that I have ventured out before getting on the machine. It wasn't too bad because I was back home before 10:00. I was on the machine by 1040. Not too bad for a day when I accomplished something other than dialysis. Friday I have a Dr appt. I may tell J to take D and I can at least get on the machine for an hour (Nah, that ain't gonna work) I won't even be on for an hour if I do that.

Which brings me to a point. I am very funny about making sure that I stay on and get on this machine for the allotted time. I shock myself sometimes. In the 2 weeks that I have been doing this I have not once thought about skipping or cutting time. I guess that's because it's not too bothersome to get on the machine and since I don't mind getting on, it's no problem to stay on. Unlike when I was in center. I just wanted out of there. Well, at first I was ok with going. It was my "part time job". But after a while Ijust began to feel like I didn't belong there. Maybe I began to feel that way once I realizedd that home hemo was a possiblity. But I did get sick of it. I felt like I was getting too comfortable and I didn't like that.

Monday, October 1, 2007

RED 10 ALARM

I must not have tapped and snapped well today. I had so many "red 10" alarms that I had to call Nxstage. Peter was good though. He seemed a little nervous at first when I called, but after he calmed down, he was good. The alarms were letting me know that there was air in the venous lines, and I could see it too. when I pulled the blood through the syringe. Actually it alarmed multiple times before I even hooked up. I told myself to get the alarms resolved, and I htought I had, but I was wrong. ANywhoo, I learned a lot from the experience. One thing I learned was that I have to pull up out of the filter port. I was pulling straight out and not up and the air wasn't coming to the top. (Iknow what I am trying to say).

Once I got on, I wanted to go to sleep, no dice. Arterial alarm every time I laid down. So, in 6 mins I am going to go to sleep.